Every marriage will have its rough places. Some of them are easily overcome while others become major obstacles in the relationship. In recent sessions of Marital Moments, I have focused on "Potholes On The Marital Highway". Last time I discussed an extremely painful lesson called the Sad Intrusion. The account of the difficult marriage of Rachel and Jacob found in the book of Genesis serves as a bold example of what a marriage should not be or become. Instead of living happily ever after their home was scarred by the "other woman" in their marriage. In the last lesson, I wrote about the horrible effects of an affair. I must state once again that adultery and fornication exacts a price too great to pay. It takes a toil on the home like nothing else. Previously I gave some advice for the Unfaithful Partner and today I intend to offer some practical advice for the Wronged Partner. (1) Confront Openly The Affair. Don't sweep it under the rug and pretend it does not exist. The offending partner must not be allowed to continue his or her affair without realizing the high cost of such action. The marriage is worth fighting for with all your might. Pray much about the confron-tation, choose wisely the time you wish to confront the straying spouse, and pick the location in which to deal with the affair. (2) Express Tough Love. You may love the offending partner with all your heart and sincerely seek to continue the marriage. However, you cannot, and you must not, allow an affair to continue. Tough love says, "I love you to much to allow this to go on another day. Make your choice. You can't have me and her or him." Tough love often causes the one who has failed to realize the mistake and count the cost of ending the relationship. Many times they simple chose to walk away and end the marriage. Tough love says I will not continually be made a fool of and I will not con-stantly put my welfare and health in jeopardy from sexually transmitted diseases. (3) Seek Counseling If Possible. The time and advice of a godly counselor is invaluable in helping to heal the broken relationship. Sadly, to many times one partner will not seek advice out of shame, fear, rejection, or pride. Many times they have not ended the relationship and they know that a counselor will sharply confront them. (4) Be Willing To Forgive And Go Forward. If the unfaithful spouse has repented to God and immediately stops the affair, and if he / she has sincerely and deeply apologized for the error of their ways, then be willing to forgive. I know that the hurt and the scars will remain. The past can be forgiven but it cannot be forgotten. However, you can chose not to dwell on the failures of yesterday. If you both are willing, your home can become stronger than before. Trust God to help you overcome the painful and difficult days of unfaithful-ness. I know that He is able to help you succeed.
