We will continue our thoughts on the Potholes On The Marital Highway by looking at the major pothole of Poor Communications. Like many married couples Rachel and Jacob struggled with communication. Genesis 30:1-2 gives us insight into their communication habits. There the Bible states, "And when Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children...(she) said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die". And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, "Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?" They had been married for a while and the honeymoon was past and over. They were now ac-customed to each other. They knew the temperaments, habits (good and bad), and the actions of their partners. By now the routine of daily living with all its pro-blems and pain had become familiar. The things that were once overlooked and forgotten about are now closely scrutinized by each other. The harsh words begin to fly. The verbal knives plunge deep within the heart and wound to the soul. What was once a harmonious relationship with abounding love has now become a difficult situation with little hope of recovery. Notice Rachel's Reason For Poor Communications: (1) She lived a disappointed life. Things had not turned out like she planned. In a society that valued childbearing she was a nobody. She angrily lashes out to her husband. Perhaps she felt like she had nothing worth while to say or that her opinions were of no value. (2)She condemned rather than communicat-ed. Her words were sharp and biting. She pressed her case with great zeal. The words only drove a wedge deeper between them. She blamed her husband for all her problems. (3) She was self-centered. It was all about her. All about "me" and not about "us". Even a casual reading of Gen. 30:1-2 would see that Jacob was hurting as well. (4) She had unrealistic expectations. Jacob could not solve that problem. She expected miracles out of the communication. She was never satis-fied. Nothing could please her. Neither her beauty, her status as a favorite wife, nor her income could please her. Sadly to many people are like that today. The unrealistic expectations of the husband or wife simply cannot be fulfilled to their satisfaction. Therefore, communication suffers and they are left disappointed, disillusioned, and dissatisfied. Notice Jacob's Reasons For Poor Communications: (1) He doesn't enjoy communication. Perhaps he is the silent type. But like most men he doesn't enjoy long, engaging conversation. (2) He is the problem solver. A man solves problems. A problem he cannot solve is a problem he seldom talks about. As much as he loved Rachel he could not solve this dilemma. (3) He keeps a busy schedule. Jacob had plenty of work to be done. He was exhausted after a long day at work. (4) His attention was divided among several things. Jacob had two wives. This was never God's ideal or plan. As with anything that goes against God's will, this multiple marriage provided multiple problems. Jacob was torn be- tween competing situations and this greatly hindered and destroyed his meaningful communications. I will continue next time with the Results of Poor Communica-tion. Remember, Potholes On The Marital Highway consist of many things but especially Poor Communications.
