I thought I was finished with the "Potholes On The Marital Highway" series but I believe there are more potholes we need to consider. In this Marital Moment I want to focus on a very serious problem that is destructive beyond measure. I call this pothole The Sad Intrusion. In Genesis 29:24-30 we find that the hopes and dreams of Rachel and Jacob were shattered on the wedding day. The joyous oc-casion was turned to deep bitterness when Leah, Rachel's sister, entered into the picture. Rachel and Jacob had each other but someone else was also involved. Thus the sad intrusion. The "other" woman. But the plot gets worse when both Rachel and Leah's handmaidens also enter into the relationship. ( It should be noted that God never approved of multiple marriages and that they always created great difficulty for those who engaged in that kind of behavior.) Jacob's home became a circus of competing personalities. The cleave-only-to-each-other part came tumbling down. The heartbreak unbearable. The pain and suffering. The unanswered questions. The blame game. The cover ups. The unaccounted for hours and time away. Nothing wrecks havoc on the marriage more than an affair. Sadly, today's society does little to condemn and much to condone this type of behavior. The broken dreams, hearts, and homes of those who engage in such things become exceedingly painful and difficult. The tears shed, the lives shatter-ed, and the hopes destroyed are beyond compare. An affair is a sin so grievous that it is the only one God allows for divorce. (Matthew 5:32) It doesn't have to result in divorce but God gives an option for divorce because of this unfaithful act. Now, for some advice for those who face the awesome sadness of an affair. Advice For The Unfaithful Partner: (1) Stop It Immediately. If your affair is known or unknown you must stop it immediately. Isaiah 55: 7 states, "Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon". (2) Take Full Responsibility. Don't rationalize the affair. Do not blame your partner. Don't trivialize it. You are the guilty one. It is your fault. To blame others is to shift the responsibility from yourself. God holds you accountable for your actions. (3) Seek Forgiveness For Your Behavior From Both God And Your Spouse. Be genuinely sorry for your sin. Not sorry that you got caught up with. (4) Be Willing To Pay The Price. The cost of an affair is never cheap. You must answer all the questions that will be asked. You must be consistently faithful. You need to be on time all the time. You must avoid anything and everything that would lead your wife / husband to doubt your sin-cerity. (5) Become The Best Husband / Wife Possible. Heal the hurts by sincere words and deeds. Kindness and compassion go a long way in smoothing the rough places you have created. (6) Determine Never To Fail Again. Purpose in your heart that you will be faithful to your marriage vows. In the next Marital Moment I will offer some advice for the wronged partner.
